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Big Family Drama
My sister left for a short trip to Florida today.  Dad drove her to the airport, and on the way, she told him she's thinking of breaking up with the boyfriend.  Ever since his motorycle accident, he's become very vicious and nasty.  He's almost completely physically healed, he loves his work, his dog, his life- it seems like everything should be great, but it's not.  He's become someone else, she says.  She doesn't know how much more of this she can take.  He's always complaining, always angry about something.  She's so bothered right now that she refuses to leave the cat alone with him.  She's afraid he won't take care of her, because he's always complaining about her nowadays.  So of course, this means we now have six cats to take care of.  Sigh.  She'd better pick her up when she gets back from Florida.

Sis hasn't made any definite plans, yet.  She's waiting until she gets the insurance check from her own accident.  This way, she'll have the money to move into her place.  I don't think either of them could keep the apartment on their own.  Dad and I both think the bf should see a doctor.  He did have a brain injury in his accident, perhaps it's effecting his emotional state.  I really don't think he'd go for it, but it might be worth a shot.  Either way, my sister is going to have to make some changes pretty soon, I think. 

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If he did have brain trauma from the accident, it's possible that he could have a permanent brain injury-related personality change. This happened with a family friend - like your sister's boyfriend, he become constantly sullen or angry, and violent. Eventually, his wife left him because she no longer was safe with him, and he wasn't the person she had married. It was really sad and horrible for both of them, because on the one hand, it wasn't his fault that this had happened (and there was no treatment for the brain damage), but on the other hand, it was impossible to live with him.

I hope that things work out for your sister.

Dad and I both immediately thought that it might be a brain injury. He's had these tendencies before the accident, my sister says, but it was never like this. It's possible the accident just brought out the worst, I guess.

Thanks for your support, sweetie. It's so wonderful having you back on LJ!

I looked up "traumatic brain injury" on Wikipedia and wow, I can see why you're worried. Do your best not to leave your sister (*or* the cat!) with this guy, it does sound like he has brain injury-related personality change going on from your description. If he hurt someone, it might not technically be his fault, but that wouldn't matter 'cos whoever got hurt would still be hurt. The blame wouldn't matter!

It's funny how a brain injury doesn't ever seem to make a harsh person into a pussycat, but always seems to do the reverse make nice people go bad. On TV, we have a sitcom about a nice amnesiac who finds out she was once a terrible person, or we have the Harrison Ford movie where he was a corporate lawyer who was cold to his family, etc.; he has a brain injury and becomes a nice person... but that is not how it seems to go in real life!

That's VERY good advice, sweetie. I hope to God he'll go to a doctor and find out if this is medical. I haven't spoken to my sister yet, she's in FLorida now, but my father saw her today, and she's very upset.

I'm inclined to agree with the previous posters, and hope it all goes well (or better, at least) for your sister, Andi.

Big hug to all of you!

Thanks, Ash. I guess we'll just have to wait and see what happens. I don't want my sister staying in a relationship with a man who treats her so viciously. It's only been verbal abuse at this point, but who knows if that could change?

I found an article that says that psych meds can help with this kind of brain damage.

I hope someone can get through to him to see someone about this.

Also, depression can manifest as anger, so it may not even be brain-injury induced. It could "just" be major depression from the whole experience of the accident and the changes that followed.

It could be all of those things. We just don't know, and to be honest, I'm not sure the boyfriend is motivated enough to do anything about it. I'll pass the info on to my sister, though. Thank you so much!


I hope it works out.

Thank you. *Hugs back*

I'm sorry you have new dramas in your family. I hope things will work out. *Hugs*

It's always something, it seems. Thanks for the sympathy, Carol. *Hugs*

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